Even though I have a blog about BPD, a lot of people have a lot of doubts about it (about the symptoms, terms, etc). So here is a post about BPD and, please, if you are neurotypical don’t comment “wow I have it” just because you read my post. • Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed when there is a persistent pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships, mood and self-image, as well as distinct impulsive behaviour, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. These difficulties are indicated by five (or more) of the following: • frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. • a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. • identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. • impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g.

Browse And Read The Crisis Of Social Democracy In Europe 1st Edition The Crisis Of Social Democracy In Europe 1st Edition Feel Lonely? What About Reading Books? Social Democracy In Crisis? 1 Social Democracy In Crisis? Version May 22, 2012 Bo Rothstein Sven.

Spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). This does not include suicidal or self-harming behaviour. • recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour. • affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood - intense feelings that can last from a few hours to a few days. • chronic feelings of emptiness. • inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.

• transient, stress-related paranoid ideas or severe dissociative symptoms. FP means, for someone who has BPD, favorite person. It is a term that refers to the person you most idealize, usually it is someone you have romantic feelings for, but it can be a friend, fictional character, someone in your family, etc. Not everyone who has BPD has a FP, but it is something common.

Having a FP is not something beautiful and shouldn’t be romantized, your mood starts depending on that person, on the way they talk to you, you have a lot of mental breakdowns when they’re gone and it’s something that puts you in risk, because you’re willing to do basically anything for that person. What is “split”? Splitting is the action of feeling extremely angry at someone who you usually idealize, for example, your fp (but it doesn’t have to be necessarily your fp). Someone who suffers from BPD usually has black and white thinking or feeling, loving or hating someone, doing something all the time or not at all, basically no harlf term. When someone splits, it means that they were from a extreme to another about their feelings to someone. It can happen for big and important reasons, when someone actually does a serious mistake or it can happen when someone does a “small” mistake and we react extremely, due to BPD hypersensitivity.

What is dissociation? That’s what Wikipedia says: “In psychology, dissociation is any of a wide array of experiences from mild detachment from immediate surroundings to more severe detachment from physical and emotional experience. The major characteristic of all dissociative phenomena involves a detachment from reality, rather than a loss of reality as in psychosis.”. Dissociation is the match of despersonalization (“Depersonalization can consist of a detachment within the self regarding one’s mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Subjects feel they have changed and that the world has become vague, dreamlike, less real, or lacking in significance. It can be a disturbing experience.

Chronic depersonalization refers to depersonalization-derealization disorder, which is classified by the DSM-5 as a dissociative disorder.”) and derealization (“Derealization is an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one’s environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional colouring, and depth. It is a dissociative symptom of many conditions.”). Basically, it is feeling like YOU are not real + the WORLD is not real.

Okay, I’m not sure about what I’m going to say now, please someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that there a lot of dissociative disorders, but in BPD people usually suffer just from dissociative symptoms. Self-harm is when you intentionally hurt yourself.

Okay, but why? Some people self-harm to relief the pain, a lot of people with BPD also relate they self-harm to feel real during dissociative episodes or to feel something when the emptiness sensations are acting out. For some people, self-harm is when you hurt your body tissue, for example, cutting or scratching yourself, but, personally, in my opinion, thre are different ways or expressing self-harm before it becomes something extreme, for example, starving yourself, triggering yourself, doing something you don’t want to just because you “deserve it”, etc. “People with BPD are always abusive.”That’s absolutely not true. A lot of websites make articles about BPD and, because of a lack of information, they mention we are abusive and things like that.

The truth is that no one is automatically abusive JUST because their mental illnesses. Abuse is something related to someone’s behavior, regardless if they’re mentally ill or not. “Okay, so why a lot of people say BPD makes someone abusive?” Maybe it’s because PDs are not a very discussed topic and people are always afraid of the unkown, so it’s better if they just judge us. Also, maybe because people with BPD are often seen as “attention seekers”, which is not something bad, in my opinion, because everyone should receive enough attention, since they’re not using bad mechanisms to get it. About some other symptomsMood swings happen when someone goes to an emotion to another. For someone who has BPD, it happens a lot of times during the day.

For example, if you got a friend and they have BPD they can talk about suicide and how hopeless they feel and a few hours or minutes later they can talk about future plans and how excited they are about things. It impacts our affective instability too, so sometimes we get lost thinking if we like someone or not. We can easily “get tired” of someone and then becoming totally dependent on them after some time. Our instability also impacts our sense of self, sometimes it makes us question even if we are real (going back to the dissociation aspect).

That’s why is so hard for us to do things like choosing a career, because today I can feel like becoming an actress and then tomorrow I want to be a doctor. Our decisions and moods are constantly changing.Our fear of abandonment controls our lives, we can do things that we don’t even want to just to have someone by our sides. Also, some people with BPD can get too clingy or too distant to someone they love, clingy to avoid the abandonment and distant because of a “leave them before they leave me” thought. That’s why our relationships are very unstable.Compulsion and impulsivity is a form of expressing our confused feelings, like if we need something to rely on.

We can drink too much, eat too much, waste too much money, etc. It can happens for a lot of reasons, for example, to fill the feelings of emptiness or to avoid a breakdown, specially when someone leaves.

Quiet and explosive borderlinesExplosive borderline is someone who is the “classical” borderline. They will act out, they may yell at people, they may get involved in fights and etc. Someone who is a quiet borderline will act in, holding their pain agaisnt themselves, for example, with the self-harm. They may not usually yell at people or get involved in fights, but, instead, they will do terrible things with themselves.

There is not a “worse or better type of borderline”, they’re just different types. We all suffer a lot. Sorry if my grammar wasn’t very correct.

English is not my native language. I hope it was a helpful post for some help here on tumblr. Stay strong, borderline community! So I think it’s time this fandom had a sit-down and talked some things out. Today’s topic: ableism.

Before all of y’all start jumping on me and dismissing me and trying to say I have no right to talk about this, let me tell you a bit about myself. I was born with spina bifida. For those of you that don’t know that is, it’s when a baby’s spinal chord and nerves don’t develop properly. I had my first surgery to help this condition when I was eight days old.

The excess amount of scar tissue in my lower back had begun to wrap around my spinal chord, which for obvious reasons is dangerous. I had the same surgery when I was four years old, and that’s when my life changed forever. I’d been able to walk before using a leg brace, but due to a mistake by the surgeon, my left leg was left paralyzed. I was a normal (and I hate using the word normal here, normal is an absolutely useless construct of society, but for lack of a better word at the moment, bear with me) kid, mobile and able to move around as I pleased, and then I couldn’t. I’ve been using a wheelchair since then. I’m not telling you guys this because I want pity. I’ve accepted it as part of my life, and I love myself just the way I am.

This little explanation is here so you guys can understand exactly where I’m coming from when you read the rest of this post. So with all this in mind, here goes my not-so-little rant. DISCLAIMER: I will be calling people out in this post and tagging them because I am done. 1000%, completely fucking done with this fandom. And if this causes a shitstorm, fuck it, because this needs to be said and this fandom needs to learn to stop being hypocritical pieces of crap. I love these books.

I love Sarah’s writing in general, and I would read literally anything she wrote. These books, Aelin’s story, Feyre’s story, are so important to me. I don’t have words to describe how much they mean to me.

I love talking about them and healthy and constructive conversations about them. And some of the jokes that have been made by the fandom are some of favorites. I’ve made some of them myself. I’ll joke alongside all of you about wingspans and gold nightgowns for as long as you want. I want to make something perfectly clear: this rant is in no way a reflection of my thoughts about her books.

This post is exclusively about the fandom’s disgusting behavior. So let’s start with this post that I saw earlier. Disability is not kinky. For those of you that can’t understand that, let me repeat it.

Disability is not kinky. This whole post is horrifyingly ableist. And before you guys start claiming that “I have disabled relatives, I can’t be ableist!” (, I’m looking at you. Remember that conversation last year? Nice to know you’re still disgusting), that’s like saying “I have African-American friends, therefore I can’t be racist!”, which is such an inherently flawed line of arguing that it would require a whole other post to address, so I’ll just say don’t try it. I can’t even begin to fathom the mental process all of these people went through to think that this was even remotely acceptable in any way, shape, or form, so let me break this down and explain to you why this isn’t. This, my horrifyingly inconsiderate friends, is a form of fetishism.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, fetishism is the pathological displacement of erotic interest and satisfaction to a fetish. Now that you know what that is, let’s move on. This whole fandom has been complaining about a lack of diversity in Sarah’s books since I joined the fandom. Diversity doesn’t just mean POC, which is exactly what this fandom conveniently forgets.

Diversity includes POC, people with mental illness, people with physical disability, LGBT+ people, and so much more. And when Sarah finally adds someone who embodies a slice of that diversity, you all have the gall to reduce his situation to sex jokes. All I can say is how dare you. How dare you reduce someone’s life and reality to a kink, to something to be made fun of, to something that spices up your dash and makes it NSFW just because you wanted to make fun of a book cover you probably weren’t satisfied with. In doing so you are insulting the thousands upon thousands of people that are in the same situation. You’re reducing them – reducing me – to a fantasy that you can use and then dismiss the next moment, without regard for anyone’s feelings. Do you have any idea how difficult of a topic sex is for people with disabilities?

We are laughed at for wanting sex. Our anxiety when it comes to that is ten times that of any able-bodied person, simply because we don’t fit into the box that society wants to shove everyone into. And you’re making it that much worse because you have the audacity to think the fact that someone can’t move their legs is funny. Reading that post hurt like hell. Because in your eyes – in society’s eyes – people like me aren’t human. We’re just something to ride, right?

Yeah, I didn’t miss that little gem of a comment,. And because I know this is coming, no, Chaol isn’t just a character.

But you know what, I get it. It’s just sex, right?

A small joke made, no harm done. You’re perpetuating yet another harmful concept cooked up by a disgustingly ableist society. Sorry, but your privilege and utter ignorance are showing. I will concede a bit and agree that we can treat fiction for what it is – something that isn’t real – up to a certain point.

But you guys just crossed a line. For those of you saying that you feel guilty for laughing, you absolutely fucking should, because this shit isn’t funny. The fact is if that post had been making fun of race or mental illness, then the fandom would have ripped these people to shreds and they would have been reported many, many times over. But it’s not, and instead I can count on my fingers the number of people that stood up to say this was wrong, because it’s just another wheelchair joke, right?

To those that did, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, especially and.​ It’s nice to know there’s still some hope for humanity left. And to, I agree with you. People do need a laugh, even those that live their lives stuck in chairs.

But that post? It’s downright offensive. So that’s it. I’m done blowing things out of proportion, as some of you will say.

If you think I should have approached you privately and messaged you about this instead of publicly calling you out, then maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t have PUBLICLY insulted mocked degraded an entire subset of the human population. And maybe that makes me a bad person. It certainly means I’m not being the bigger person. And I could honestly care less. So sick and tired of constantly being the bigger person, of just staying quiet when I see things like this because what’s the use?

The entire world is filled with this shit and it’s not like I can fight every time I see this kind of injustice. Nothing’s going to change, no matter what I do. This is where I draw the line. In your own point of view and experience, what is the most interesting characteristic about each type? (I am not sorry for the Star Wars gifs. Everything is SW, and nothing hurts.) I may go with the unexpected. Things the online profiles don’t prepare you for.

ESTJ: their perverse sense of humor. You expect an ESTJ to be some hard-assed fascist dictator and instead they crack you up with a story about their first day on cop duty how they accidentally tasered someone in their privates. It’s that low-order Ne, man. It’s hilarious but not in a mixed company sort of way. ISTJ: how much they actually can admire rule-breakers and how considerate they can be. I have sat through movies with ESTP protagonists who you’d just expect the stoic, sensible ISTJ to look at them and go, “Geez, what a loser, he takes too many risks,” and instead they walk out with the ESTP being their favorite character. Shadow function envy?

Also, they tend to be really hard on anyone who tries to shame other people and/or refuses to allow the other person to be their true self. ESFJ: the stereotype is the class cheerleader, but a lot of the ESFJs I know are more serious (and often successful) business owners who build up a trust system with their clients which makes everyone feel warm and invited. I’ve met a few ‘intellectual’ ESFJs who are free spirited, who have globe-trotted (without a plan, I might add), who got married on impulse (and made it last), who have a ton of different interests (and a huge amount of knowledge about all of them), and are fine with ‘any lifestyle’ provided it is not cruel toward others. ISFJ: tend to be much more strongly opinionated than you might expect, and a lot of them want to foster a sense of independence and respect.

They tend to hunger for ‘more’ and to push away from tradition as they get older. And, contrary to stereotypes, I have actually seen many of them change their minds over a relatively short period of time given time to orient themselves in an idea.

If you can prove to them how it works better, they are happy to use it. ESTP: how totally chill a lot of them are and how, contrary to profiles might suggest, many of them are not thrill-seeking psychopaths, but instead good-natured neighborhood dudes who sometimes enjoy popping a beer in the backyard with some friends and just having a good time. Unfortunately, a few bad ESTPs (fictional and real) have given them a bad reputation for being hotheaded jackasses, but a lot of them are just chill. And not inclined to speak with their fists first. ISTP: how low-key mild mannered and considerate they can be.

They are not the gushy, affirming types, and they are not Sherlock Holmes; a lot of them do seem to work in computer programming jobs, but none of the healthy ones I know go out of their way to earn praise or attention, and many of them actually make friendship decisions to protect their friends’ feelings and not overwhelm them with needs. Yet, they need encouragement much of the time.

ESFP: you would expect them to be the party hard type, and instead what I often find is witty, funny and intense people who care about their job performance and in making good impressions,and who have razor sharp insights into people that are not often delusional; they take people at face value, they make judgment calls on their behavior, and a lot of them are not into those notorious tert-Te smack-downs you hear about; most of the ones I know would rather let you keep their borrowed pants forever than charge into your closet and take them back. ISFP: some of the purest, most sincere people I have ever met, but also those who show the most frankness in expressing their views. They tend to be thoughtful but also have a sharp sense of right and wrong, and are not going to back down on it, but a lot of them hate confrontation so will not ‘provoke’ anything.

They tend to be very hands on people, and I’ve seen them know the people they care about most better than their loved one does themselves. ENTJ: I never expected the ENTJ to be the most emotionally mellow, and considerate, person in his work office, but he neither takes anything personally nor especially judges the people he works with, for their emotional outbursts; he simply sits and listens to them, a bit puzzled perhaps that this incident caused this torrent of emotion, but he is generous almost to a fault, and if he’s going to blow his money on something, it’s usually on his friends. INTJ: online profiles would have you think INTJs are egocentric robots, who have almost uncanny insights and never change their minds so imagine my surprise to run in their circles and find intense, thoughtful, dry-humored people who take a long, long time to make up their mind and form careful arguments (which, yeah, can be unshakable unless you bring solid evidence). Some of them (weirdly enough, often the men I’ve met) tend to have an emotional storm inside, and no way to get it out. ENFJ: I’m not sure where the idea of ultra-extroverts came from, if it’s a hold-over from their friends the ESFJs, but ENFJs seem to need less socialization and constant stimulus due to their aux Ni function.

Many of them will step back and allow the sensors to dominate the floor, because they simply do not need that kind of external sensory fulfillment. Many of them tend to be far more spontaneous than you might expect from an NJ, and a lot of them just trust that they can seize the right moment when it comes and do not waste a lot of time worrying about it. Things will just work out. They know it. And, most of the ones I’ve met think they’re introverts half the time. INFJ: you expect Ghandi and find someone who is genuinely weird (I mean that in a nice way) and eclectic and occasionally says peculiar, abstract things right before they go back to psycho-analyzing Hannibal Lecter for 6 hours while they plan the Star Trek story you’re co-authoring with them in their heads. I was blessed.

And also slightly terrified. ENTP: you go looking for Benjamin Franklin, and instead you find a brilliantly moronic maniac who puts just as much thought into figuring out what drives the villains in Star Wars as they do abstract systems and proving people wrong. Far from the stereotype of an absent minded professor, these ultra-thinkers will actually engage you in the most loony nonsensical conversations you have ever had in your life and either leave you thoroughly entertained or very confused right before they turn around and suggest they’re an ENTJ instead. INTP: you expect a college professor, and instead you wind up with Terry Pratchett, someone who quite enjoys poking holes in every theory, mocking all that is sacred (for his amusement and yours) and is often surprisingly, not that offensive while doing it. You expect a certain level of jackass from inferior Fe but I’ve seen INTPs go out of their way to avoid offending people! ENFP: have a reputation for being inconsiderate, self-centered flirts, and instead can run themselves into exhaustion trying to help you out of every mess you find yourself in, because their Ne cannot bear to leave you as you are, in a hole, when there are so many ways to fix this!! A lot of them tend to forgive easily.

Maybe because within 10 minutes, they forgot your name.;) INFP: have reputations as being the most easily hurt of all the types, but considering I’ve seen INFPs walking around giving no damns what anyone thinks of their appearance, their interest, or the BB8 following behind them, I think that’s a myth. I’ve also known a fair few to be quite fussy and even to undertake the “mothering” role toward those they love in ways that put ISFJ stereotypes to shame.

Thank you for your question:) We actually have yet to answer anything like this, so don’t worry! As a long-time romance writer, let me assure you that most everyone feels this insecurity – even those of us who have more real-life romantic experience. We battle ourselves with over-sharing, clinical description, mood, timing, and getting the image of the kiss into the mind of the reader.

With years of horrible kiss scenes under my belt, I’ve accumulated some tips for you How to Write a Kiss Scene So before I get into it, let me make a clarification for what I’m talking about here. There’s two kinds of kisses in fiction: kisses and kisses. If you’re writing a brief paragraph of a kiss, something to tie up a chapter or a character interaction, you probably won’t need all of these tips, although some will still apply. This post is more relevant for kiss scenes, which are more romantic and drawn out.

Whether your characters are giving their first confessions of love, reuniting after a long parting, or giving a prelude to passion, these are my thoughts on how to portray a warm and lovely kiss scene. Do Your Research Whether or not you’ve been kissing your share in real life, there’s an art to fictional kisses. It’s less about realism and more about the feelings inspired in the reader – and this affects how kiss scenes are filmed and written. The style you want may relate to genre, too; sitcom kiss scenes (think Ross and Rachel) are a bit different from drama kiss scenes (think Jack and Rose). When you’re watching/reading examples, pay attention to a few key details.

Watch how the writer leads up to the kiss – the dialogue, the physical interactions, the way the characters look at and think of each other before the inevitable kiss. If you’re watching a filmed kiss, take note of the actors’ unique physical habits. What do they do with their hands, their posture, their facial expression?

What emotion do they give off in the moment – love, lust, anxiety, glee, desperation? And which of these appeals to you and your characters?

This will give you ideas for physical descriptors, as well as an idea of what mood to set. Focus on Sensory Detail In my experience, the worst kind of kiss scene is one which is described too clinically or distantly. For some writers, the nervous habit is to write a kiss scene as a stenographer would take down a testimony: this is what happened, this is where we were when it happened, and this is what I was thinking when it happened. It’s too stiff, and it relies too much on Telling instead of Showing. Instead, describe the scene as though you were in it, doing it, with your eyes closed. Let us know what the POV character notices, when they notice it, and how it feels. Start with a detail about the kiss itself – the warmth, the taste, the easiness of it – then move on to other parts of the body, and other sensory details.

What are their hands feeling? If they’re on the other person, what do their clothes or hair or skin feel like? What are they hearing? What colors are dancing behind their eyelids?

Let us experience it, and let us experience it in romantic language – staying away from words and metaphors that sound rough, dull, or cliche. A few things to avoid: • Weird tongue shit – tongues fighting for dominance, going into throats, probing and asking for entrance, etc. This is not what tongues do, and even if it were, reading this kind of language is a huge buzz kill.

There’s a reason TV actors tend not to kiss with tongue; it’s not half as pleasant for the viewer as it is for the participant. • The “starter pack” romance descriptors – including but not limited to: “they deepened the kiss,” “they pulled (him/her/them) closer,” “(his/her/their) lips met (his/hers/theirs),” “the world faded around them,” or god forbid, anything about a girl’s chest heaving with her deep breaths. • Overwhelming detail – because as important as it is to be romantic and sensory, you can definitely have too much of a good thing. For one thing, and this is a good general rule in writing: do not describe colors.

No one cares how blue a character’s eyes look, or if they’re in a black or white lace teddy (in fact, stay away from the word “teddy” if you can), or if the hair “cascading over their shoulders and pooling at their midriff” is strawberry blonde or raven black. Only describe colors that change in the moment – flushed cheeks, reddened lips, or that early purple of a developing hickey. Anything else and you’re wasting page space. • The setting around them – at all, if possible. Too many writers get nervous in the middle of a kiss and “zoom out” to give us a view of the room they’re in, but this isn’t necessary at all.

If your characters are making out, they don’t care about the hue of the sheets they’re about to fall into or the pattern of the rug twisting under their feet. And if they don’t care, why should we? We’re just here for the action, and we want it fed to us in an IV, immediately. Make Your Kiss Scene Original When writing something lovely and language-driven, you must resist the urge to use your first idea. Avoid the obvious information, which read like stage directions, and instead give us what their hands are doing, what their legs are doing, where they’re feeling warmth – the little noises they’re making, the lightness in their heads, the things they want to do but aren’t doing yet. Romance scenes are a great opportunity for originality, because everything has a clear direction.

So when you’re brainstorming, try going to the less sexual things first, and sexualizing them. Romanticize them. Tell us how their hair feels – feathery and soft or thick and curly or tangled and rough or braided or twisted.

Tell us how their clothes stretch around them when they take big breaths, how their heels peek out of their shoes when they stretch up into the kiss. Tell us how the inside of the other person’s shirt feels against their fingertips. I mean, god, romance writing is so beautiful for this reason – because you can catch things in your net that swim past you in the real moment. Don’t overwhelm the reader, but give them more than, “They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed.” Because it is more. Craft New, Unusual Situations Instead of the same formula, where two people meet eyes, kiss, wrap their arms around each other, and eventually break away, try some new positions: hand-holding, standing between the other person’s feet, one person sitting on a table, both in an awkward state of half-dressed, tasting like toothpaste or something not bad but not quite sexual.

Don’t be afraid to get comedic with it – maybe there’s some ticklish facial hair or a shirt that won’t unbutton, or one character’s really itchy but also super entranced and bouncing between awkwardly trying to scratch their knee and groaning because damn, this person can kiss. Humor and romance are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they work pretty well together. I think a lot of romance-lovers would agree, also, that awkwardness is majorly underrated in love stories. Tripping, or lulls in conversation, or stuttering, or having shit-all to say after the kiss when you just want to be smooth and sexy – these imperfections are endearing and memorable, and they’ll put a smile on your reader’s face more than hot-and-heavy ever will. Don’t Neglect the Moments After As important as the instant of the kiss is, the period afterward is double. It can be difficult to transition from a purely physical moment back into the conscious world, full of thoughts and dialogue and the reaction to the heated kiss that just happened.

It can be overwhelming to attempt to maintain the tension once the kiss has happened – to follow up with a realistic and not-cheesy and not-disappointing response to everything. Some writers panic and rush the ending, but trust me, you don’t want to waste this important moment in the scene!

So take the pressure off and, instead, take this ending for what it is. Your characters aren’t going to sit there and think up a storm; they don’t need to say much, either. Either end the scene with a quirky one-liner, or a farewell, or something sweet – but give it an ending. If the kiss is going to continue, give us a line at the end letting us know that they’re leaning back in. Don’t bow out too early, but don’t overstay your welcome, either. Just give us something more than a kiss and an awkward walkaway.

This is a basic idea of what’s important to me in a kiss scene, as a reader and writer of romance. I’m sure there’s plenty I’ve left unexpressed (and I actually have another post on romance/smut coming up), so if you need any more help, the inbox will be open soon!

I hope this addresses your concerns:) Thank you again for your question! Happy writing. [] My list of favorite shows (other than sense8) includes things like Torchwood and Agent Carter, so clearly I have a thing for doomed TV shows and I’m not new to the feeling of betrayal and lost that comes with your average cancellation, but I believe that sense8 is not your average situation and that’s why it has been trending worldwide on twitter for 8+ hours and it made so many people deeply upset.

Sense8 being cancelled is the entertainment industry equivalent of Trump winning the elections. In Freema Agyeman’s words: ‘A real kick in the teeth for everyone who is striving to make TV more representational & inclusive’. And, because that’s the way media works, a direct reflection of what’s going on in the rest of world right now. And it happened in the fucking first day of pride month, no less. Hi everyone; hope today is going well for you! Today, I’m going to be talking about witchcraft and magick in fiction from the angle of writing it. I realize many witches (including myself) have a burning desire to see more realistic portrayals of magick and the Craft, and there’s no better way to go about it than for us to take pen to paper ourselves!

This short series of tips is designed for those who want to write a story with characters who practice magick in a more realistic fashion than seen in novels like Harry Potter. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with Harry Potter, of course, but there’s room in the genre of magick for realism, too!

Hence, why I’m writing this. I’ll be using examples both from my own writing and from novels I enjoyed that featured realistic magick. Why write realistic magical fiction? So, why a realistic portrayal of magick?

Obviously, most novels and stories that feature magick are of the fireballs-and-glowing-spells variety, and not very realistic at all. That makes for good reading, too, but more realistic portrayals also have a place insofar as they’re incredibly unique and interesting!

Why not stand out from the crowd a bit? It’s also worth noting that most witches, I think, if given the choice, would prefer to read something more realistic fiction-wise over an equally well-written fantastic portrayal. I know I would, and I feel like it’s important for magical practitioners as a community to write and create their own magical narratives, providing role models and other hallmarks of good media. There’s also the not-so-small matter of how magick actually operates in the real world. I don’t know about you, but my Craft is intensely personal, and exploring it (or a character’s equivalent) in fiction makes for strong characterization. Furthermore, real-life magick is more nuanced than just “she throws fireballs,” and is bound to entice your fellow witch readers who love subtlety and delight in detail. So, those are some reasons I, as a witch, would like to read (and write!) more realistic portrayals of magick in fiction.

How do we do it, though? What sorts of tips can be offered? Let’s begin by discussing the hallmark (I think, anyways) of excellent stories - characterization! How do you create compelling witch characters and interesting magicians? Characterization The first important thing to note is that, as you no doubt know, witches and magicians are an incredibly diverse lot.

Witchcraft in and of itself is only one of many magical styles, and others exist, including things like conjure and ceremonial techniques. Within many broad categories, you find a wealth of smaller traditions. What kind of magick does your character practice? Sweep, by Cate Tiernan mixes real magick with fantasy, and in that series, most of the characters are Wiccan, but participate in a variety of different styles of magick, ranging from herbal casting to spirit work.

Realize, too, that your character will probably work with a variety of techniques, so keep that in mind, as well! Secondly, ask yourself what your characters believe. How do they conceptualize their magical experiences?

Do they believe in a deity or worship a godform, such as the Wiccan goddess or an older pagan deity? Are they Christian? Views on how magick works and why are as diverse as practitioners themselves, so you need to consider what sort of paradigm your characters are working and living within, as well as why.

I want to note that I’d be careful writing about practices that are foreign to you (the writer). If you know nothing about Christianity, don’t make your character a Christian, for example, unless you’re willing to do a lot of research to create a sensitive portrayal. As to myself, I’ve experimented with a lot of magical paradigms (such as chaos magick and Thelema) and I tend to draw from those when I write. I’ve had characters who were Wiccan, chaotes, and Thelemites in past works.

It’s usually best to write what you know. Don’t feel as if your story needs to be full of characters from many different paths or religions to be realistic. Such a story wouldbe realistic, but there’s nothing technically unrealisticabout, for example, a story focused solely on chaos magick.

Err on the side of caution here to avoid inaccurate or trite portrayals of actual practices. Again, write what you know. One thing worth avoiding is stories where the main character or characters discover they’re the “chosen ones” and realize a great destiny. I suggest avoiding it because it has become relatively cliche in fiction as a whole, but also because it’s unrealistic in the world of realistic magick. It’s tacitly conceivable that someone might somehow find themselves in such a position, but very cliche in fiction. Mostly, it’s unrealistic because magick rarely works that way, and while that shows my own bias (I don’t believe in destiny as such), I’d avoid it just for the cliche factor.

I’ll admit in one of my stories I did feature a character who was the reincarnation of a famous folk hero and had a certain “special destiny.” This was a very low-level thing and didn’t feature everyone treating them differently because of it. It was also balanced out with other characters having similar situations, thus making the “special” character relatively ordinary.

One of the benefits of writing more realistic magical fiction is that characters can literally be anyone. There’s no need for them to have been raised by arcane wizards in a windswept castle, because, in real life, witches and magicians come from all walks of life. We could be your neighbor, or a friend. The most important thing is that you work out what your character does magically, why, and what they believe about it. This is, of course, in addition to normal guidelines for good characterization. Plots and Telling a Good Story Now, let’s talk about plots? What makes a plot suitable for realistic magick?

What plots don’t work within this genre? Which are cliche? Let’s dive in. Since the keyword here is “realism,” plots can be taken easily from real world experiences and inspiration.

Just like me and other real-life witches, witches or magicians in realistic stories will have normal, everyday hardships and joys, and you can explore this. That approach is, in my opinion, much more interesting than just focusing on the magick itself. A story where magick is the main driving force of the plot is rarely going to work well; something else must be there to drive the magick instead! As an example, I’m currently working on a short story called Curse Your Local Heroin Dealer. It’s gritty and very much a NSFW thing, but it features a coven of folk witches who find themselves at odds with local drug dealers who’re literally poisoning the community. The main conflict has no real magical aspect; rather, magick is a tool used to solve problems for the characters. It also draws a lot from my experiences living for a while in an area with a serious heroin epidemic, and I think it’s turning out to be a compelling and meaningful story.

As another example, look at the Circle of Three series by Isobel Bird. In those stories, the three main characters are burgeoning Wiccan witches. While magick is present, it isn’t a means to an end itself.

The girls deal with all the normal struggles of high school students, but face them with a magical twists. Plots include relationship drama, dealing with the death of loved ones, and local mysteries. All of the stories could conceivably have been written without magick, but adding magick creates depth and shifts the story into interesting territory. In particular, avoid situations where magick is the sole solution to the character’s problems. Just as, in real life, a witch can’t wave a wand and fix a problem, your characters shouldn’t be able to just do a spell and have their world set aright. Instead, the magick can be a vehicle for them moving forward, but also cause for introspection and character development.

This is done particularly well in the Witches Chillers series, where the main character’s social awkwardness is underscored by her feeling less adept magically than her peers. Building a World A few notes on worldbuilding: you wouldn’t think it necessary when you’re going for realism, but it absolutely is. Anytime you have witches and magicians in a story, they’re going to interact with the wider society just as we do in the real world.

Pay attention to the way society treats the occult as a source of inspiration. How will characters handle being feared (or laughed at) for their practices? How will they handle the increasing fascination of society? Another thing to consider is magical social structures in the story. Will your character belong to a magical Order, secret society, or coven?

In most cases, it’s a bad idea to use real-life organizations in a story. Instead, you should invent your own fictional ones. This isn’t difficult, because you cancrib a bit from real life, just not toomuch. In one of my stories, I created a secret society similar to (but distinct from) the Ordo Templi Orientis as a backdrop for a story about a character’s struggle with depression and how it affects their magick. In other stories, I’ve written about fictional covens and traditions of magick. Finally, as a last tip, do not slander real paths or traditions for the sake of creating a villain. It won’t be believable if you do it, and will, furthermore, anger people.

It’s pointless to create a villain who’s a super-scary LaVeyan Satanist, because five minutes of research will tell your readers that LaVeyan Satanism isn’t all that frightening, let alone evil. I avoid this in my stories mostly by creating traditions and paths out of whole cloth for the antagonists. The villains in one story I’ve been working on, for example, worship an egregore that takes the form of rat, but doesn’t exist in real life.

Another option is to just make the antagonist’s path or tradition irrelevant to their villainous activities, but that can be difficult to do well. In short, try not to play to stereotypes about occult traditions, and don’t slander large (or small) swathes of the community in the name of a villain. I hope this was helpful and inspirational for budding magical writers out there! There is so much potential in this genre, and I would love to see more of it. If you’ve favorite stories that use this approach, do share them with me, so I can enjoy them, too.

If you, yourself, have written any realistic magical fiction, why not share it? I know I look forward to reading more in this genre! Anonymous asked: Hello! So I was scouring the Internet for advice today but I couldn't find any on this topic. My problem isn't that I don't have any ideas (I probably have too many) but the problem is that I don't LOVE any of my ideas. I think they're all fine ideas. But liking them isn't going to motivate me long enough to finish a novel.

How can I give my ideas that extra uumph to make me love them? How can I figure out what's missing or why I don't feel this way about any of my ideas? Hello, nonny!

What a challenging question This one’s been in my inbox a couple days, just because it’s such a big question. But I’ve thought it over and I think I have some ideas for you:) The Thrill Is Gone – How to Find It Again So generally, there’s no one answer or cure-all to this problem.

I’ve had this issue multiple times, with different causes. My first novel didn’t have enough meat to the plot; my second novel had been over-planned in my head to the point that it no longer excited me. My third novel had way too much plot, so that by the time I got ¾ the way through, I’d written over 200K words and felt sick of the idea. I started my fourth novel way too soon, and am now going back and planning it more!

So there are obviously many different reasons that a story doesn’t take off (or dries up eventually). The first step is to figure out what’s missing, like you said. There are a few aspects of your story to assess 1.

Plot I’m discussing plot first because, to me, it’s the most important part of fiction. Plot, conflict, and stakes are foremost to my stories.

You could have the most complex and sympathetic characters, but without plot, they’re static and become boring. But for some reason, this is the part of story ideas that new authors neglect most! So if your story has great characters and an immersive setting, but you can’t get into it, try asking a few questions about your plot: • What is the point of the plot? What’s the message you’re conveying in the story?

Even if your story isn’t an allegory or a metaphor or the next Chronicles of Narnia, there should always be a conclusion to which all plots arrive – otherwise, the story can feel aimless. The best way to find your message is to look at the (e.g. Nature, etc.) and find the “winner”. What worldview, belief, or concept “defeats” the other concepts? It can be as simple as Good vs.

Evil, or more complex, like Loving the Sincere Drug Addict vs. Settling for the Selfish Dentist (provokes the question “Is love worth danger in relationships?”). • Does the plot have ups and downs? And really consider both ends of the spectrum here. Stories become dull if they are made up of victory after victory – or if they’re made up of nothing but loss and tragedy. No matter the genre, you have to strike some sort of balance, lest the story become predictable and emotionally non-engaging. Find victories and failures, even in unassuming places, to keep readers invested and hopeful.

• Do you have a satisfactory ending? Or do you have the ending planned yet? I’ve found that I can’t really commit to an idea unless I see a resolution – otherwise I feel too nervous to start. If you do have an ending planned, make sure it’s the right ending.

It can feel like there’s one possible conclusion, and once you’ve found it, you stick to it – but question it, brainstorm it. It may not be a happy ending every time, but when you find the right one, you’ll know it. • Do you have the right plot at all? Look at your story as a whole.

Does it start too early or too late, relative to the real meat, the real action? Is it told from the most impactful POV? Does the plot cover too much ground for one book, or is it not enough to fill the pages? Consider all the characters, backstories, and subplots you have, and ask yourself if any of them are more interesting than the main plot. If so, shift your focus. Use them instead.

Characters Maybe it’s not your plot that’s going sideways. Maybe you have it all worked out – the head, the tail, the whole damn thing – but it still doesn’t feel right.

It doesn’t feel like it’s coming to life, somehow. It feels flat. That can be a character problem. It would be like sitting by the campfire and hearing the most fascinating, horrifying story, except it’s told by a man with The Most Boring Voice Who Talks So Incredibly Slowly and Takes All the Fun Out of Everything. An example: The Hunger Games. Those books bored the crap out of me. Unless someone was being killed or Haymitch and Effie were interacting, I just didn’t care.

And those books had a great plot behind them! So here’s what you need for a good cast of characters: • A solid protagonist. Solid = three-dimensional, empathetic, and relatable; having a goal, an internal conflict, a self-image, and fears or shame. They should have different facets of themselves – their head and their heart, their desires and doubts, and that little voice in their head that says, “Give up on that. Be realistic.” Give them strengths, weaknesses, and a couple of bad habits, for kicks. • A variety of supporting characters. You don’t have to have thirty characters + six secret characters stuffed under your trench coat; but with however many characters you have, make them as different from each other as possible.

Give them some similarities, of course, so that they can relate to each other – but never make them so close together that you have to decide, “Who should say this line? Character A or Character B?” Make them unique enough that the words come out of their mouths, instead of you having to decide where to put the words, yourself. • Relationships, relationships, relationships. And I’m not talking about romantic relationships.

I mean, sure, those too – but there are many different kinds of relationships to explore. Friendships, enemy-ships (?), parent relationships, sibling-ships, silent alliances, “annoying friend-of-a-friend”-ships, “my-ex’s-little-sister”-ships, “you’re-the-ruler-of-the-galaxy-and-a-Sith-lord-but-also-my-dad-please-stop-being-evil”-ships You get the idea. Make them unique, make them strong, and allow them to evolve over the course of the story. • Diverse morals, interests, and personalities. My first short stories focused on white middle-class people who were culturally and politically identical.

They lived in one house, usually, and watched the same TV shows and made the same references. They had the same sense of humor. They rarely disagreed on anything that wasn’t clear-cut (e.g. “You drank the last Pepsi!” “I was thirsty!”). So do yourself a favor and don’t make my mistakes. Give your characters unique ethics, cultures, backgrounds, personalities, goals, appearances, and conflicts. You’ll be more invested by then, I’m sure.

Setting Lastly, I’d like to add that while your characters and plot could be well-developed, there’s always a chance that they’re placed in the wrong setting. This is why many story ideas can seem great, but won’t get off the ground – maybe they’re set in a pre-made universe like Middle Earth or Panem when they could be their own story. Maybe your tragic romance is set in the middle of apocalyptic war, when instead, it should be drained down to a period piece. Maybe your story is perfect, except you’re writing it too close to home – in the real world, in the present year. There are a million factors to picking the right setting, including: • Applicable history and culture. If you’re writing a story about someone who’s oppressed, or someone who’s a politician, or someone who’s a witch, you’re going to need to back that up with history.

Develop a history for the oppression or politics or witchcraft – where these things began, how they developed over time – and a culture for them now – how oppressed people survive and how witches in your world interact, etc. • Imaginative scenery, influenced by the characters. Even if your story takes place in New York City in 2017, allow your characters’ living spaces and workplaces to have a unique touch – colors and quirks that your readers can see in their mind. If even you can’t see what you’re writing, inspiration is going to be difficult to find. • A lifelike background.

Just because the plot focuses on your characters does not mean everything going on behind it should be quiet and dead. Anyone who looks out a window in a city building can see other people living – people on the highway will see other cars taking other people other places.

Everyone who has a friend will hear a little something about their friend’s siblings, their friend’s friends, their friend’s neighbors. Life and stories exist outside of your plot; make sure you’re not writing about a ship in a bottle. • An aesthetic. That sounds gross and teen-tumblr-y, but let me tell you personally: I don’t feel truly ready to write (and love) my story until I can hear the music for the future movie adaptation – until I can see the kind of clothes the people wear, the games they play, the places they eat and shop. I think of the colors and themes in my scenes (e.g. My first novel was set primarily at night in a grunge/city setting; my current novel is very green and outdoorsy and gives me that feeling of bonfires just after sunset).

Once you get that “feeling” from your story, you’ll know it. Anyway, this reply took me like three days to write because I really wanted to get into it.

I hope some of this helps you to fall in love with one of your ideas, so you can get started:) If you have any more questions, be sure to send them in! (I have 26 questions in the inbox, though, so be patient with me). Anonymous asked: Hi Dicta, I have kind of a strange question for you. What would you say is the line between enjoying reading fic about gay couples, and fetishizing gay couples? I see posts every now and then who comment about people enjoying fic featuring gay couples together, or bemoaning how people just ship all same sex characters (or people in real life), together. As someone who can reads multiple, same sex characters in different fandoms, I worry about crossing the line?

I hope this ask makes sense. That’s a tricky question, anon, and an important one. This is gonna be a little off the cuff but i also don’t want to let this languish so here are a few things that i think make a difference: Do the characters have interiority? If the characters have thoughts and emotions and motivations that have to do with things other than sex and sterotypically gay stuff, that’s a good sign. If they do things because they have a talent or skill for those things or want to develop one, care about how their friends and families will react, are addressing something in their personal history, etc., those are good signs. If they spend all of their time having sex, arranging sex, talking about sex, and occasionally, like shopping and being snarky with the girls and ~being fabulous~?

Not a good sign. Do the characters have complete lives? Do they have jobs, families, friends, roommates, pets, childhood memories, goals, histories, preferences? Do other parts of their identities - class, race, religion, nationality, etc.

- shape their lives? That’s a good sign.

If the entire construction of their character is about fucking, and if the things they think about and do are only or predominantly related to sex, that’s a bad sign. Being a one-dimensional gay stereotype is also a bad sign.

Even if the fic is about them having sex, that doesn’t mean that’s all they do or all they are, and plenty of PWPs capture that. How do other characters treat them? Do characters within the story treat them as whole, multi-dimensional people? Anonymous asked: Hi! As an avid fic reader, there is something that has always bothered me about a lot of fan-fiction I have read in the Stucky fandom or the marvel fandom in general. There is almost always a level of casual sexism against the female characters, for example, in many fics the female characters are referred to as 'girls' despite being grown fucking women also is it necessary to talk about how beautiful Natasha or Peggy are in every single fic?

Aren't we reducing them to their beauty? This is actually an incredibly complicated issue.

Yes, there definitely is a fair amount of casual sexism in stucky fanfic and in fanfic in general. But on the other hand, compared to general fiction and the world at large, there is significantly less sexism. I’d also point out that the majority of transformative fandom is female identifying, queer, or both, this makes fanfics relationship with sexism a lot more complicated. Internalized misogyny is incredibly hard to sort out and be aware of, because it’s your own internal monologue and in the case of many fanfic authors, your own internal monologue as a woman and (in most cases) a feminist. The specific examples you pulled are tricky ones, cause on one hand, yeah theres certainly an element of sexism in there, but on the other hand there also isn’t necessarily a bad wicked thing. In most stucky fics, the narration is third person pov through either steve or bucky, and in the case of two men born in the 1910′s calling grown women girls would absolutely be a part of their vernacular. It’s absolutely sexist, but I’d argue that it’s a strongly internalized attitude and language pattern both of them would absolutely have problems recognizing and or getting rid of.

So even if it’s not a carefully thought out choice from the author, it serves as interesting characterization. Also since the majority of fic authors are women, the relationship with using girls isn’t as simple, for one thing it is a part of common english to use women and girls interchangeably and it’s not something that’s closely examined by all women all the time. Also, I think theres as aspect of it’s usage that is reclaiming it in a way. I mean girls isn’t a slur by any means but it’s not free of negative meaning, and by referring to wonderful characters as girls it in some ways seeks to remove those negative connotations- by presenting to the reader a group of people who the reader admires and saying some of them are girls and thats great, it does something meaningful for a woman reading. Using the word girl/s isn’t always something bad, especially when women are using it. As for calling them beautiful all the time, I’d argue that 9/10 times theres absolutely nothing inherently sexist about mentioning their beauty.

I mean it is objectively true, mcu’s female characters are beautiful. Now the reason behind all of them being gorgeous is pretty sinister, hollywood has an insanely toxic and sexist beauty standard and the fact that female characters in movies have to be beautiful in the same way is a whole other barrel of fish and we’re talking about fanfic, we’re dealing with characters who have a appearance and personality not 100% set by the author of a fic.

Honestly, I’ve read thousands of Stucky fics and I think I’ve read a handful where women were actively reduced to their beauty. I mean when was the last time you read a novel by a cishet man? It’s absolutely horrifying, the way they treat women is disgusting, and fic is so much better. Most of the time in fic, beauty is just one aspect of their character, for example Peggy’s strength and steely determination usually follow any mention of her beauty and Natasha’s dry humour and keen intelligence usually follow any mention of hers. On the other hand yeah, you get a lot of Bucky dancing with a beautiful nameless woman who only appears as an object of desire and jealousy and yeah, thats a problem. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all to mention a woman’s beauty provided shes being not shown as important only because she’s beautiful.

I’d also argue that the vast majority of sexism in fanfic isn’t calling female characters girls or referring to their beauty, its demonizing or ignoring female characters who are “in the way” of a m/m ship. I see this happen a LOT with Sharon in particular, but also Peggy and Natasha. You don’t see the female character who is canonically with one half of a m/m ship is a controlling, violently jealous, homophobic monster plotline often anymore, but it does still come up. More common is the female character who is canonically with one half of a m/m ship is a endlessly pure, patient, supportive and unconditionally understanding prop who exists only to step graciously out of the way of the m/m pairing. I see that all the damn time and it bothers me. Female characters tend to not be as developed in canon and because of that often also remain underdeveloped in fanfic and also tend in both canon and fic to be there only to support the male characters not existing outside that context.

That or the fact that f/f ships are incredibly neglected. I mean theres like one f/f fic for every like seven m/m fics.

Part of that is the fact that there are so many less women than men in fiction. Part of that is on us for just not writing wlw and favouring mlm or m/f ships. I have really complicated feelings about this as a queer woman, I mean I‘m running a ship blog about two men. I could be putting my time into natsharon, cartinelli or claire temple/misty knight, but I’m here instead. I worked through lots of internalized homophobia, biphobia, transphobia and aphobia while reading m/m fics, not f/f and I spend so much more time and energy on m/m ships. I mean here I am, a wlw and here I am investing almost all my leisure time on men.

I mean I love it in this fandom and it’s absolutely my choice to be here but part of me wonders what it would be like if I had gone through that process with a f/f ship instead and what it would be like to invest this time on women. I wonder what it would be like to be in mcu fandom if our source material treated it’s female characters better and had more of them. You also see barely any not white, disabled, unattractive or poor women in fic, but once again part of that is a distinct lack of diversity within the source material. But you know what, I do not see many fics with Helen Cho or Claire Temple in them at all, let alone as developed characters.

Anyways sexism in fandom is a lot more complicated than it initially appears. Nothing is ideologically pure, even fanfic, but due to the nature of fanfic being written by people who you can easily contact in the sometimes caustic forum of tumblr I think it’s incredibly important to be gentle with authors who violate what you individually see as correct.

Much of tumblr’s atmosphere of callout culture has a very black and white view of what justice is and what is correct, when in reality theres a lot of layers to this, it’s not a simple black and white dichotomy. JK, if you don’t ship it that’s fine. I get it, really. I love romance. (That gif is just so beautiful) I know this is a shonen manga and I shouldn’t be here for the romance, but I just love romance. I mean, I don’t read Fairy Tail for the romance, but I love the relationships developed. Mashima has developed a large selection of couples that all have interesting dynamics and relationships I love to explore and analyze, NALU being one of my favorites.

I understand why people are so annoyed by the fandom, because it’s frankly annoying how people will be at each other’s throats over the ships in Fairy Tail, which is literally so dumb. I mean, remember when we made fun of Team Edward and Team Jacob people?

We’re those people now. How have we become this? Really, I just love romance. I mean, I had a boyfriend that I had a horrible relationship with that made me believe that I wasn’t worth being loved because I was so horrible to him and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t accept the love he had for me and I lay awake thinking about the fact that I’ll probably never be loved like that again because I’m so worthless–NEVER MIND THAT! Back to my love for romance. Following all ofthatI was weirdly interested into why couples work in fiction. I mean, is it just because the two characters are hot, look good standing next to each other, and the author forced them to make out?

Sometimes, yes. However, other times, an enticing romance is introduced, and I believe NALU is one of them. A lot of things make a good fictional couple, but here’s what’s important. Chemistry, history/time, and a good dynamic. They need to correlate well together, they’re a team, they have to work together, bounce off of one another, etc. They need time to develop their relationship, learning more about each other’s history (or in some cases be there to witness this history) but overall, they need to know each other.

Then there’s the dynamic (maybe this isn’t the right term for this, but it’s what I’m using). And that’s what I’m really going to focus on here. I love a good romantic dynamic. Ha, that rhymes. I’m not going to pulling out cute scenes from Natsu and Lucy’s time together and say “See! They care about each other!

It’s so cute!” because I’m focusing more on the foundations of their relationship, how their characters are set up to counter one another leaving room for personal growth as well as a growth in their relationship. First off, it’s pulling from a fairy tale trope by using the dragon and princess scenarios. Lucy is obviously the princess type. She’s wealthy, pretty, and she knows it. However, she does want to break away from this title, which correlates with her own personal growth as a character.

Natsu is reckless, violent, a bit of a pyromaniac, and literally a demon dragon thingy. I mean, that one’s a lot more literal than Lucy’s title. The entire dynamic is meant to break away from this fairy tale trope, making it a fairy tail trope. Ha, these are the jokes people! Lucy, as she grows as a character, breaks away from her romantic view of true love and having her prince charming come and whisk her off her feet (in the end credits scene of the early seasons, we see Lucy daydreaming about a prince coming to save her).

Of course, reality is like, “Ha, you want a prince? Well, nevermind that dream!” Instead, she gets a dragon. The beast that in these fairytale stories is usually the villain. They turn the trope on its head, and that’s just good fun. Moving on from the dynamic of the relationship, their characters are good for each other. A good fictional relationship (romantic or not) has both characters growing together.

So let’s look at each character’s main internal conflict. I always found it ironic how Lucy was running away from her father while Natsu was running after his own. It’s funny how both of these characters have weird daddy issues. Having these weirdly different yet similar experiences really give the characters chance to grow together. There is room for personal growth through the expansion of their own relationship, which is really important when telling a love story!! I try to make sure any character I write in a romance is focusing on themselves, because it’s not healthy when a character can only find happiness in the relationship (also in real life, be aware).

Personal growth is important in storytelling, because it’s unhealthy when the person someone’s dating is their whole world. Like seriously, that’s bad. Anyway, this isn’t me trying to prove NALU as canon or something. The ending of Fairy Tail, regarding NALU, was actually kinda perfect for their relationship.

Natsu isn’t the type to get all sparkly eyed and kiss Lucy tenderly. That would be out of character. If it ever became canon it would be Lucy to make the move, realizing that she isn’t a princess waiting for her prince, and that she wouldn’t wait for Natsu to make a move and just do it herself. (Princess conquering the dragon, booyah). Sorry, sidetrack. The point I’m trying to make is NALU is set up for a great romantic dynamic, it’s charming, quirky, and turns the tables on the traditional romantic tropes.

Their characters had room for growth in their relationship and it was unique compared to any other relationship the characters had in Fairy Tail. So do you still not ship NALU? Okay, that’s fine. In all honesty, the execution of their relationship wasn’t the best. It wasn’t bad, but I can see why people didn’t ship it. I mean, if you’ve read my other posts you understand my frustration with Natsu’s character and how I feel like he didn’t grow as a character throughout the series.

Nonetheless, the foundation for the relationship itself was unique and admirable, something I think I’ll try examining and exploring in future fictional relationships I make. In fact, Mashima actually does this really well! A lot of his relationships have good dynamics going for them, but that in turn created this MASSIVE amount of relationships that didn’t all get the chance to be thoroughly explored! Which is a shame, but that’s the cost of having such a large cast The message of this thing? Well, it’s not really “YOU SHOULD SHIP NALU” despite the title of this post. It’s really that a dynamic can matter in a relationship. What their relationship represents can create something unique and admirable.

It goes beyond whether or not he grabbed her hand in this scene or whether or not Lucy was blushing when Natsu said this. The basis of their relationship is something that Mashima worked out really well, and I feel like it should be appreciated because it’s really clever! I should change the title of the post, here, gimme a sec.

How Mashima sets up relationships like a straight up thug! I feel like I’m too hard on Mashima as a writer sometimes, but this is something he did right that should be done by other writers! So good job Mashima! We all love you! Sorry about the crazy fandom!

So, share your thoughts (be respectful of opinions though) and tell me if you think the dynamic of Natsu and Lucy’s relationship was compelling at all, or whether or not you think it was explored to its full potential. I’m bored so intellectual conversations on the internet are always fun. Genre: fl u f f f I hope you all enjoy my first reaction on this blog and look forward to many more to come! “Y/N, could I use your laptop for a quick second? Mine ran out of battery and I’m still waiting for it to restart.” your boyfriend asked you as he’d closed his mini computer shut, seeing nothing but a black, dead screen presenting a dull battery symbol that mocked him ruthlessly. Although you had very important files on your laptop, that still hadn’t differed from the fact that you weren’t using it at the moment and your boyfriend needed to. That, and you decided you were able to trust him with your precious monitor.

“Sure,” you answered, barely sparing him a glance as you continued tapping away at your phone. A small, audible “thanks” exited his mouth as he pulled up the laptop sitting on a small coffee table with other items for productivity spread out. It would’ve been the obvious choice that your boyfriend would’ve simply opened a new tab to execute whatever he’d been planning to, but the picture of him flashing at the screen had quickly gotten his attention. Surely, you forgot that you hadn’t yet exited out of the website that held a new world with other kpop fans such as yourself. Shifting his glance from the laptop to you, he tried to decipher what it had been that grabbed his focus. It couldn’t have been updates of him and his group from a recent fansign, nor was it an article with a clickbait title in large bold text.

However, there were a lot of words. He managed to read. The hell is that? Note: This is a long, detailed, in-depth look at the character development of Rey and Kylo Ren, as well as the build-up of scenes, and the intentionality behind the inherent eroticism of their interactions.

(Note: I’m sure others have written on this topic, so I apologize if I reiterate points that have already been discussed). Prior to seeing The Force Awakens: Earlier today, I was speculating on why I am drawn to Reylo, which led me to reflect on my evolving understanding of the pairing.

When I went into The Force Awakens for the first time nearly a month ago, I went in with absolutely no expectation. I hadn’t seen the original trilogy since I was a kid. The prequels had pretty much killed any initiative on my parents’ part to continue taking me and my brother to see the movies, so my fascination with the Star Wars universe was not cultivated by my family but something I discovered much later on my own. The fondest memories I’d had of Star Wars included seeing a theatrical re-release of The Empire Strikes Back with my dad, watching Return of the Jedi with my brother, and renting the Ewok Adventures from the nearest Blockbuster. To be honest, I never intended to see The Force Awakens.

I don’t watch TV, so I hadn’t known the movie existed until, literally, two days before it hit theaters. I hadn’t seen a preview, a commercial, nothing. Then my brother showed me the trailer online and I thought, “Wow, this actually looks pretty great. Faith has been restored!” Anyway, like I said, I went into the movie with very little expectation – and I’m glad I didn’t, because I was able to fully immerse myself in the experience of “not knowing”, which ultimately contributed a lot to understanding of Reylo.

Initial viewing of The Force Awakens: Possessing very little knowledge about the new characters and plot, I had the opportunity to form opinions of them based on my viewing experience alone. My thoughts, feelings, and impressions changed as the story developed. My initial impression of Kylo Ren was that he was a typical, one-dimensional bad guy who had some serious anger issues. As the story developed, however, I realized he was the son of Han and Leia, two characters I had always adored. I realized he was at odds with the other members of the First Order. He seemed terribly isolated, despite being surrounded.

This isolation and loneliness was further emphasized by his emotional confessions to Darth Vader’s mask. His character became increasingly more unpredictable, especially when he and Rey first encounter each other. I expected danger. I expected him to hurt her.

The moment Rey’s unconscious form draped effortlessly into his arms, I thought to myself, “THIS moment right here will spawn a thousand fan fictions”. I thought that would be the end and, boy, was I wrong. The next thing I know, Kylo Ren is popping off his helmet, revealing himself to be a stunningly beautiful man, and his face is so close to Rey’s I honestly thought, “What the hell is going on here?!” Even still, their interactions and Kylo Ren’s motivations seemed incredibly ambiguous so, upon leaving the theater, I felt confused and wondered if I had imagined the dynamic of these two. When I came to Tumblr, I found I was not alone and, after reading the script and novelization, I had hard evidence to support what I’d picked up on in my initial viewing of The Force Awakens. What is interesting, though, is how many people viewing the movie for the first time, particularly Reylo shippers, had a similar experience.

A lot of people express “sensing” or “having the impression of” – and being unsure of these impressions – and receiving confirmation through others. I was reflecting on this today, how my understanding of Reylo had evolved over the past month, and then I realized something The ambiguity of the pairing is what makes the overall effect so fascinating, compelling, and intentional. Yes, I said intentional.

This ambiguity allows the viewer to sense as opposed to process logically. The experience of sensing is what makes Rey and Kylo Ren such an evocative pairing. Their interactions are not only meaningful in the context of the entire story, but they are also deeply sensual and inherently erotic. These erotic undertones are subtle and appeal to viewers more on a subconscious level, as the scenes involving Rey and Kylo Ren appeal to scenario-based fantasies.

Let’s start from the beginning Rey is presented as a tough and resourceful scavenger who experiences loneliness and isolation. Even though she is a survivor through and through, there is a tone of longing to her character. In some ways, she is wary and shrewd, while, in others, she is quite innocent. The way she eats and wears the helmet at the beginning demonstrates her lighthearted and innocent spirit. While Rey is never sexualized (so refreshing), she is very pretty and does not seem aware of herself in this way.

Her innocence is further emphasized by her interactions with Finn. It’s obvious that Finn is immediately attracted to her (which communicates her level of desirability to the viewer), but Rey seems completely unaware/unfazed and repeatedly shies away from physical interaction. The dynamic between Finn and Rey is playful, light, and humorous. The tone of their interactions is very different from the one between Rey and Kylo Ren, and these differences are presented to the viewer in a very purposeful way. You are meant to compare them. Now let’s look at Kylo Ren. The introduction of his character is meant to leave the viewer with the impression that he is evil, ruthless, powerful, and dominating.

With every inch of him covered, he lacks an identity. As a result, the viewer is not able to make an emotional, human connection to him or form any real opinion of his character. He is threatening in his anonymity. Like Rey, Kylo Ren is also lonely and isolated. He is at odds with General Hux and Snoke. He doesn’t appear at the rally, for example – instead watching the events unfold from the Star Destroyer. His only confidante is the remaining relic of his dead grandfather, a person he has never met.

Not only is Kylo Ren conflicted, he lacks any sense of true identity. Even before Rey and Kylo Ren meet in the forest, we are presented with parallels to their personalities and backgrounds.

We are also presented with the possibility of a personal connection, with Ren’s violent reaction to the mention of a “girl” and his subsequent involvement in tracking her/the droid down. This information is important because it establishes the characters, first and foremost, as individuals.

Also, the story is building up to their eventual meeting. Whether you realize it or not, you are forming expectations about how that first meeting will go – and again, this is intentional. The writers want to blow your expectations out of the water.

When Rey experiences her first major Force vision, Kylo Ren is the ONLY person she ever fully sees or interacts with. Sure, she hears voices and catches glimpses of Luke and some others. But, overall, Kylo Ren is the main feature of her vision and, in my first viewing, I had the impression of danger and fear, leading me to form expectations of their first meeting. When they do finally confront each other in the forest, Rey is the most vulnerable we have seen. Kylo Ren’s appearance only heightens her anxiety, as he truly is a nightmare come to life. Their first meeting does not go as anticipated, however.

There is an element of danger and fear, but there is also something else. Forests have always been a main feature of stories, especially when exploring themes of fear, danger, the unknown, and even sexuality. These themes are often a package deal, meaning that you will see them presented alongside or in congruence with each other.

In terms of sexuality, getting lost in a forest is typically associated with sexual awakening. The concept of fear and sexuality mixing together is unsettling for those who take it out of context; the forest, more or less, is meant to be a metaphor for an emotional experience that is, in truth, equal parts unnerving and exhilarating. When looking at The Force Awakens, there are many aspects of Rey’s and Kylo Ren’s meeting in the forest that are suggestive – more on a subconscious level than anything else. For example, when Kylo Ren is pursuing Rey. He is slow and deliberate in his actions and, based on the novelization, enjoying the chase.

When he deflects her blows, he is powerful in his movements, suggesting dominance and masculinity. This is further emphasized by his use of the Force to immobilize her, holding one of her arms behind her back. He moves close to her, circling around her, looking her up and down. He brings his lightsaber very close to her face. This is where the sensory aspect begins. As the viewer, you are prompted to imagine what she must feel like, whether or not she can feel the presence of his lightsaber against the skin of her neck and jawline.

There is a brief moment, where, in one frame, Kylo Ren is standing in front of Rey with his arm outstretched and, in the next, he is standing directly in front of her with his head to the side of hers and his hand cupping the nape of her neck. When Kylo Ren realizes the Stormtroopers are calling him, he moves away from her extremely quickly and Rey, having leaned toward him, takes a step or two forward when he moves away. The scene ends with the famous bridal-carry back to the ship. When you really take a moment to consider the details of each scene, the filmmakers’ choice for Kylo Ren to unmask himself for Rey becomes quite significant. The unmasking is already powerful, at this point, because, as the viewer, we have had no indication of his physical appearance. And we have come to know enough about his character, or establish a level of familiarity, that we can reflect on his scenes and reassess his behavior based on what is revealed. Now, by the time Kylo Ren takes off his mask, we are already aware of several things.

One, the physical proximity between him and Rey in the forest. Two, the fact that he is present in the interrogation room when she wakes, indicating that he was watching her. The most wonderful aspect of his reveal is the way it plays on your imagination. When you realize how young and handsome he is, your perception of their interactions and his behavior towards her completely changes. You go through the process of re-evaluating him because he is NOTHING like what you expected. I believe that the reaction of female viewers was intended to mirror that of Rey’s.

Her reaction is by no means dramatic, but her eyes do widen and she does seem to inhale softly. The fact that she struggles to make eye contact – or look at him, in general – suggests her nervousness. The fact that she is strapped to a chair places her, once again, in a position of vulnerability. Aside from the chair, there is a massive physical difference between Rey and Kylo Ren.

Even though his figure is powerful and imposing, she is by no means diminutive. The physical difference emphasizes their masculine and feminine dynamic more than anything else.

What is interesting about their dynamic, however, is how fluid the balance of power is. The positions they occupy in relation to each other are constantly shifting. 3d Programming Windows Pdf more. While she is vulnerable in the forest and, to some extent, in the interrogation scene, we also see Kylo Ren become vulnerable in her presence.

When she first wakes up, for example, we see that he is seated in a crouched position on the floor. Further, he expresses that she is his guest and removes his helmet to put her at ease, taking away the tactical advantage of anonymity. She is able to banter with him in a way that would have earned others a negative, possibly violent, response. Even with Rey strapped to a chair, it is suggested how much power she wields in the situation and over him. Not only does she possess this naturally, he gives it to her willingly. Without the helmet, we are able to see the way he looks at he r. When he reads her mind, there is something taunting about the way he vocalizes her memories and emotions aloud, but there is also great sensitivity expressed in his face and voice.

The composition of this scene is quite remarkable. The way her face is illuminated and turned slightly away, her eyes fixed elsewhere, with his face cast in shadow, lends a very reflective and intimate tone to the reactions he has to her thoughts. With her face illuminated, there is no doubt of what he is looking at, yet the viewer’s focus is drawn to him.

There is such a mixture of emotion in his shifting facial expressions. There is understanding and compassion, there is sensitivity, there is acknowledgement, there is longing and desire, there is wry amusement and curiosity, and there is pain. The openness and honesty of his face here, when Rey is not looking, is distinct from the somewhat haughty and bored expression he wore before the mind reading and the defiant, challenging stare he gives her afterwards.

In that brief moment, the viewer is allowed to see that he wants her – and he wants her badly. The both challenging and seductive “You know I can take whatever I want”, coupled with the “At night, desperate to sleep”, and the close physical proximity (with emphasis on heavy breathing, parted lips, and roving eyes), this makes for an incredibly sensual and erotic scene – as well as one that establishes an emotional and metaphysical connection between them. The fact that Rey manages to turn the tables on Kylo Ren at the end and be exposed to his thoughts and emotions turns everything we know about their dynamic on its head and adds a new layer and dimension to their relationship. This is not about who is more dominant and powerful – this is about how they are equal and how the fluid nature of the power between them adds an extra layer of sexiness.

Also, it develops a meaningful element to their connection, a fact that opens the realm of possibility for what the future may hold for these two. So, this post is more about remaking on the intentionality behind the eroticism of their interactions than anything else. Many of the scenes between them elaborate on sexual fantasies that are deeply-rooted in the psyche.

Many of these fantasies lack rationality and, when brought to the surface and examined, can seem kinky as hell and cause some to be repelled (which I think is a main reason why some people are so adamant about Reylo being abusive). Take The Phantom of the Opera, for example.

The concept of a masked stranger hiding behind a woman’s dressing room mirror and kidnapping her at night (while she is half-dressed) and takes her down to his lair to profess his desire/undying love and show off the mannequin he made of her. I mean, really. When you take a moment to think about how this sounds, from a rational perspective it sounds dangerous, twisted, creepy, and completely unrealistic. But the fact that this is the longest show on Broadway, that women find the Phantom incredibly sexy, and that what I just described is arguably the most famous segment of the story, tells you A LOT about this type of eroticism and how it feeds into the imagination of the viewer. And if you happen to check out interviews or Behind the Scenes, you will quickly realize that the makers of Phantom knew exactly what they were doing. Hal Prince, the director of the original Broadway production, even said that he believes the entire story is an exploration of healthy sexuality.

My point is, the same level of thought is going into the development of Kylo Ren and Rey. The cat-and-mouse game in the forest, the obvious differences in their physicality, an unconscious Rey being bridal-carried and waking to find a masked stranger watching her, coming to realize said masked stranger is incredibly hot, being strapped to a chair as hot guy hovers close – so close his breath can perhaps be felt on her neck, the challenge and opposition both seem to feed off of, the fluidity and unpredictability of their dynamic, being kidnapped by a dark, mysterious, powerful stranger. Whether or not these things make any rational sense, they are incredibly erotic and play off of deep-rooted fantasies that people may not even know they have. Further, the fact that this installment of Star Wars is titled “The Force Awakens”. Hmmm, who could this apply to? Rey, you say? I wonder how the Force is awakened Through her interactions with Kylo Ren, you say?

Hmm, so Rey’s Force abilities awaken when she meets Kylo Ren, who she happens to counter in a forest – you know, the one that has represented sexual awakening in stories for years and year. Coincidence, you say? Now I’d like to talk about the two fight scenes.

Like there are two interrogation scenes, there are two fight scenes – and we are meant to compare them. The one involving Kylo Ren and Finn is significant because it establishes bad blood between the two. You could say Kylo Ren is partially motivated by jealousy, but I don’t have hard evidence to support this. He does call Finn a traitor, however, (in an extremely hostile way, I might add) which gives him a personal reason to dislike Finn. Finn appears to be motivated by two personal reasons: First, his past connection to The First Order and, second, his connection to Rey. The fight, really, is motivated by Rey (remember, Kylo Ren Force-pushed Rey into a tree and knocked her out).

The fight itself is quick and ruthless. While Finn is brave and noble, he struggles to keep up. Kylo Ren, on the other hand, is sort of a peacock in the way he spins, waves his lightsaber around, acts bored, and even struts a little. Kylo Ren is skilled, ruthless, efficient, and even a little arrogant – and, in the process, he asserts his dominance and masculinity.

I would bet money on the fact that this dynamic will be developed and explored further in subsequent films. The Fight involving Rey and Kylo Ren, on the other hand, is different Rey, like Finn, is fueled by personal reasons - the death of Han and the wounding of Finn, primarily. Kylo Ren does not seem to have any beef towards her, though. He mostly aims to disarm, though he also seems to enjoy the challenge that Rey provides.

While he regards her intensely, there is no hostility or vindictiveness in his expression. Even when Rey uses the Force to call Luke’s lightsaber to her, he seems to be in awe. Their physicality is further emphasized in this scene: While she somersaults on the ground and leaps gracefully from rock to rock, he is heavy and deliberate in his movements. Again, we see the fluid balance of power.

In one moment, she is struggling and he has the upper-hand. In the next, she is pushing him backwards, giving him a run for his money. Also, we see them both mirror and complement one another. When their lightsabers are crossed, for example, his face is awash in shifting blue and purple, whereas hers is red and purple.

This fight scene achieves multiple things. First, Rey and Kylo Ren are portrayed as complements and equals. Second, both are powerful, aggressive, and ferocious. Third, Kylo Ren indulges in Rey. Like in the interrogation scene, he becomes wrapped up in her and loses his original sense of focus, purpose, and efficiency.

Further, he is impulsive when making decisions concerning her. The “Forget the droid, we have that we need” and the ‘You need a teacher” are the main examples of this. The erotic undertones initially present in their interactions are transformed as new layers of their dynamic are added to create something unique, refreshing, complex, unpredictable, and totally sexy. This, right here, is why I ship Reylo.

Drivers Lexmark 5400 Windows 8 there. K but when people come onto this hellsite and say things like “nobody took issue with Stannis saying bend the knee or I’ll destroy you, why is it so bad when D*ny says something similar” I think they’re really missing the point. Despite the fact that he was extremely equipped in terms of leadership on the battlefield, despite the fact that on paper he had a better chance of winning the war and ruling successfully than D*ny did at the time, I think few of us, book or TV fans or both, thought that Stannis was a hero of the story or would ever actually win. The books have not portrayed him as such, nor did the TV show. Stannis was always, at best, an incredibly morally gray character leaning on the dark side, and maybe a tragic figure. His actions were condemned.

The show made him out to be worse than he was in the books, even–not just a harsh man who’d kill his rivals even if they came in the form of his brother, but the killer of his own child. Look, I love Stannis and I’d have 100% more confidence in his ability to rule than D*ny’s, but I never thought he’d win.

I never thought he was a hero. I appreciated him more because he wasn’t one and that was recognized. The thing about D*ny is that she is being portrayed as a hero, maybe even THE hero, and her choice of “lol fuck you if you don’t bend the knee I’ll let your people die” isn’t being portrayed in as critical a light as the choices of characters like Stannis. I mean, Nikolas referred to her as “the hero” right after the latest episode (and maybe cast a little shade, imo).

People get all starry-eyed over her, talking about her good heart, her status of freeing the slaves, and she’s actually had a fairly choppy history of ruling, and very little of it at that. She has been a leader of men for even less time (on the show, certainly) than Jon. Another thing that’s important to remember, especially as I imagine a large portion, probably the majority, of fans on Tumblr are white–many of the reasons why people critique D*ny have to do with her status as a white savior.

Many of these critiques are being made by poc, and it is not at all our place as white people to attempt to silence them or say “you’re only saying that because she’s a woman”. If you look into the history of white saviorism in fiction D*ny embodies it perfectly. She’s a pretty white lady who constantly “saves” and is worshiped by brown people; even when “saving” them means upending their society with no solid transition plan and leaving them in the care of her boytoy, who has little experience himself. These are solid criticisms, and they would remain even if D*ny was a pretty white boy instead of a pretty white lady. The critiques of her leadership would remain valid. And the last episode reinforced them–she burned an army to the ground despite the fact that she’s trying to take over a kingdom in which the common folk have good reason to fear a Targaryen with a dragon, and she destroyed food resources that would have benefited her own army. It speaks to a lack of experience which isn’t really that surprising–but it’s not excusable in a leader.

And again, it has nothing to do with her gender. If it wasn’t for the determination the writers have to portray her as a hero because she has dragons and is hot and Awesome, she would likely have her actions reflected on, not as stepping stones on the path to leadership, but as real morally corrupt decisions made for selfish reasons Much like Stannis’s decision to kill Renly.